chapter 18

There’s a certain phenomenon that allows us to connect the conversational dots we’re presented with when different languages become a barrier. It’s called nonverbal communication. Not only are we a speech-oriented culture, but with the ever growing use of technology and the digital world, we see less of each other in the physical presence. There’s much to be said for the false sense of security gained when we’re placed in front of a computer screen or cell phone because all it takes is words to create an emotion. But in real interactions, it occurs in the opposite order.  We have emotions and have to create words. The actions, facial expressions, body language and gestures we use are one with our emotions and cannot be separated. Our speech however is more easily manipulated. This is why nonverbal forms of communication easy to rely on, they’re almost fool-proof. We have certain metaphors that can be found in our body language such as approaching versus avoiding. Approaching something tends to show liking something and avoidance equals dislike. Dominance refers to a confident over submissive attitude. Responsiveness refers to the extent of awareness and reaction. These are the three primary feeling dimensions; liking, dominance and responsiveness. Because these meanings transcend languages and words and relate simply to our most generic feelings, we can use them to communicate without the use of spoken or written word. We often do not even notice the extent to which nonverbal communication is used in our daily lives, but it’s everywhere. By simply smiling during a commercial pitch, a person may become instantly more likeable to us because we connote smiling with likeability and kindness. How you look and act when you converse with someone will not only influence how the person you’re communicating with interprets your information but also how they will react and respond. Through nonverbal communication we can overcome great barriers such as language or even mental disabilities, simply by allowing our bodies to show our true feelings and emotions.